Рассказ / Киберпанк, Сказка English version. (Перевел на английский Белоснежку. Критика приветствуется.)
Once upon a time there were a king and a queen, and they had a daughter, whom everyone called Snow White. The queen died under strange circumstances, the investigation of her death was suspended in a strange way, and soon the king married again. The new wife was not a simple jane with a pumped up ass, she had a lot of hidden talents and some special equipment, among other things.
The tablet, disguised as a mirror, one from a batch made in an atmosphere of deep secrecy for the operational staff of the NSA. 128-core CPU at 10 gigahertz, terabytes of RAM, a custom operating system, with a speech interface, artificial intelligence and the information retrieval system from Palantir. The tablet had access to a secret version of Google, which indexes not only publicly available data, but also the databases of the NSA, the CIA, the FBI, satellite images, data from Aegis sensors around the world, telephone conversations, SMSs, social networks and so on and so forth, even dark net. It was enough to say the code phrase "mirror, mirror, on the wall" and then one could formulate a request in a natural language.
It is unknown what was the mission of that "queen", but during her free time, she used the equipment in an inappropriate way:
– Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who in this land is fairest at all, show results in all languages, – the queen asked several times a day.
And every time mirror returned links only to her Facebook profile, the only place where her photos were available. And then one day, after the next software update on the tablet, either the cache was purged or Palantir changed the algorithm for displaying the results, but instead of links to her Facebook profile, the queen received a bunch of photos of Snow White, in all forms, including those she sent only to her boyfriend. The queen was such a selfish and narcissistic nature, that even wanted to break the mirror, but then she remembered what was its cost and what she had to go to get it, changed her mind, and ordered to kill Snow White on Silkroad. Although, it is quite possible that there were no emotions there, and this was just part of her mission.
Snow White was taken to the forest, but something went wrong, because the greedy queen chose the performers according to the principle of who asks less, and the princess managed to escape. The performers produced fake evidence of the extermination of Snow White, provided it to the queen, received the money and disappeared. Snow White was hiding in the forest, she threw out her phone and credit cards, didn't contact people, and the queen couldn't track her.
However, on the third day princess really wanted to eat, and she went to a farm somewhere deep in the dense forest. She found some food, chopped it and fell onto the bed. Awakening was tough:
– Who the hell are you? – Someone who looked like a dwarf pushed her. Behind him there was a second one, with AK74 in his hands, and five more against the wall.
– I uhh... Princess Snow White – the princess forgot about caution – And who are you? Roleplayers?
– We are digging uranium ore here in the mountains, – the dwarves replied. – We make uranium concentrate from the ore in that hangar and sell it to Iranians, they enrich it up to 20% and sell it to North Koreans..
– So, stop! Why are you telling me all this? I want to get out of here alive! – interrupted them Snow White.
– We don't want to upset you, but don't you read the news? " You are officially no longer alive, your legs, hands and bubs were found separated in the forest, world leaders expressed condolences, and about five terrorist organisations took responsibility for your terrible death.
– What a fuck!... – Snow White was upset – And what should I do now?
– Stay with us, – the dwarfs suggested, – you will deactivate our clothes, otherwise the dosimeters are going through the roof, we don't even know what doses we are grabbing. So, about our business, Marie Curie received the Nobel Prize almost for the same, and we are blamed for breaking the non-proliferation treaty. Just don't use the phone and don't go outside, you'll get to the street view of a secret Google, your stepmother will immediately find you and we all will be in troubles.
And they began to live together. Snow White energetically started to work on radiation safety and occupational health, forced the dwarves to purchase protective equipment, introduced regular decontamination, and converted the toilet into a storage facility for liquid radioactive waste. And everything went fine, but once dwarves managed to tell that a new iPhone had come out, and Snow White immediately wanted it.
– Wait, let the experts check what bookmarks and vulnerabilities there are in the software and prepare the patches – the dwarves tried to rationalise it – Three to four months and we'll buy a patched one!
– I know those patches, Apple support does not apply to them and there is no access to the App Store! – the princess did not calm down.
And finally, she persuaded the dwarves. It is not known what other vulnerabilities there were in that iPhone, but there was one fatal bug, or feature: by default it was taking GPS coordinates every 5 seconds, one second long audio sample every 15 seconds, and photos from both cameras every minute, and sent everything directly to Apple, together with the traffic logs and data from other sensors, obviously that was done to improve the quality of service. Dwarves quickly discovered this feature and turned it off, but it was too late, several pieces of data were gone. The data integration between Apple and Palantir took place at night and that was enough to identify the princess and next morning the mirror showed the queen that she wasn't fairest at all anymore. The Queen immediately realised that if you want to achieve a stable result, but at the same time keep everything secret, you need to act yourself, put on gloves, a mask, and began to inject the Novichok into a beautiful red apple.
– Have you ordered some healthy organic food? – Snow White suddenly heard a knock on the door
– No, – Snow White answered regretfully, the dwarves ate almost exclusively pizza with mayonnaise.
– I have clearly indicated this address, and the order has already been paid, – someone insisted on the other side of the door.
– Well, if so, please – the princess was delighted and opened the door, an unremarkable woman stood on the threshold, with a basket of vegetables and fruits in her hands, it was the made-up queen.
– Today there is a plum set and this currant, and this apple is a gift from the company, – the woman said.
– Thank you, thank you, – said Snow White, not leaving the threshold, according to the schedule, the next KH-11 was just to fly over the farm – bye, have a nice day!
Closing the door, the princess immediately bit off a piece of apple, it was only one in the basket, and fell down dead. In the evening, the dwarves returned from work and were shocked, but fortunately nothing of value was lost, and the princess was alive, albeit being in a coma. Spectral analysis showed that the apple contained tetrodotoxin. Why not Novichok? Because the queen kept special equipment in a complete disorder, and mixed them up, stupid bitch!
The dwarves neatly put Snow White on the couch, began resuscitation and at that moment someone knocked to the door, and very persistently. One of the dwarves took the barrel off the fuse, the other went to open.
– Snow White! Snow White!!!! – shouted someone from outside. – Are you here?!
For some unknown reason, the king, the princess's dad, did not delve into the matter of her death, but suspended as well the investigation into her mother's death, which cannot be said about the her boyfriend. He was apparently not a simple guy either, and did not believe in reports of her death, immediately realised that it was a fake, not really a body, no genetic examination of the remains, nor witnesses, and secondly, he also had access to the secret Google, although not in real time, nevertheless, after a few hours, he discovered that the princess was lit up, and immediately went to the place.
Snow White was cured, and they, together with her boyfriend, convened a press conference in a people crowded place. The queen also came there, scandalised, tried to deny everything, but suddenly a black helicopter without identification marks appeared over the conference venue, the queen looked at him, turned pale, and fell down with a shot through her head, someone didn't forgive her such a failure.
Her things then were examined, but the mirror-tablet was not found. And Snow White and her boyfriend went to Goa to relieve stress, they got drunk there and shared all the ins and outs of this story with some hippy, then he told me.