PUTIN- TRUMP : HELSINKI SECFRET TALK. Full script. Mikhail Kryzhanovsky

Mikhail Kryzhanovsky, a former KGB and CIA  

kryzhanovsky7777@gmail. com  

New York  

July 16, 2018, Helsinki, Finland  

Official Putin -Trump summit  

Putin, Trump  

TRUMP – Where's my interpreter?  

PUTIN. – She's drinking with my guy.  

TRUMP. – Bull... Congress might grill her, It's OK you've removed her. And your English is good enough.  

PUTIN. – How you feel?  

TRUMP. – Adrenalin!  

PUTIN. – Like it?  

TRUMP. – Yeah. Changing America...  

PUTIN. – You do a good job. You kill the budget cutting taxes for rich, you start trade wars, you kill EU and NATO.  

TRUMP. – And I let ObamaCare “explode”, though I know health care makes up one-sixth of our economy and millions of jobs could be affected. My policies are harming tourism as well as foreign applications to U. S. colleges and universities. That means money taken out of the U. S. economy. My isolationist policies really kill NATO and undermine relationships with our allies. This makes Americans less geopolitically secure. I remember your order and reduce American commitment to NATO by ordering allies to pay for support, reduce American trade agreements NAFTA and sign off from the Paris Agreement. In such a way I undermines financial markets, national and global stability. And on top of it I′ll take $25 billion from the budget to build the wall along Mexico border!  

PUTIN. – But I want more. I need civil war, Don.  

TRUMP. – And they push me hard to war against Russia.  

PUTIN. – Pentagon.  

TRUMP. – Texas oilers, weapons guys, Lockheed Martin, Bae, Northrop Grumman, Boeing... you know. You got too much oil and gas, not your fault.  

PUTIN. – That's why I need war in America.  

TRUMP. – Got you. But Latinos just talk and Blacks are so slow... they are happy, you know...  

PUTIN. – Play black card. Cut food stamp – hungry people won't be happy.  

TRUMP. – I will.  

PUTIN. – Speed it up.  

TRUMP. – After elections, please.  

PUTIN. – December 1 is your deadline. And tell temp they don't work, you'll separate families and teach kids your way how to be American. Tweet daily, it's gonna work. I want to see fire and blood. I don't want to see America on the map next year. I don't see Soviet Union anymore – I don't want to see America.  

TRUMP. – Deal. Right now – more sanctions on Russia?  

PUTIN. – Sure. They work. Keeping my ratings high enough, ha-ha!  

TRUMP. – Civil war, revolution... and what I do if it's too hot?  

PUTIN. – Resign, but not before New York, California and Texas cut America into three republics. And get Obama on the stage – he'll come down his people.  

TRUMP. – You can't hide me? if anything...  

PUTIN. – No, you're not some bull... hacker Snowden.  

TRUMP. – Too bad.  

PUTIN. – Listen, I didn't ask you to play dirty racist games with Moscow hookers!  

TRUMP. – And you've trapped me.  

PUTIN. – Why not? Big fish with presidential ambitions. Same shit CIA is doing to Russians in power. Don't worry, I'll be around. Actually, I don't want you to leave – you resign, but you stay. The Texas president, OK?  

TRUMP. – Why?  

PUTIN. – To keep fire burning, forever.  

TRUMP. – I see. That's what your Ukraine is for.  

PUTIN. – Sort of.  

TRUMP. – Hm. Guerrilla war?  

PUTIN. – Why not? A non-stop war to "reunite" America! Ha-ha!  

TRUMP. – Smart. I can do that. But we got 1500 nukes, military might get angry.  

PUTIN. – You cut nukes in three. Generals wait if they get paid, trust me.  

TRUMP. – Military dictatorship?  

PUTIN. – Give me a break! Fingerprint any revolution and you'll find foreign money. You cut the army into three.  

TRUMP. – I better resign tomorrow.  

PUTIN. – Money... How much you want to erase America?  

TRUMP. – Hundred billion?  

PUTIN. – Ten percent.  

TRUMP. – Deal. After we finish, what I say to Pompeo, to my people?  

PUTIN. – Tell him to lose weight. or ask who killed Kennedy.  

TRUMP. – KGB?  

PUTIN. You wish. There was no "huge conspiracy" – there was a "passive sabotage" operation. CIA Director John McCone, FBI Director Edgar Hoover and Secret Service Director James Rowley made a deal not to touch Lee Harvey Oswald until operation is over.  

TRUMP. – Simple. I can ask Pompeo who's working for CIA in Kremlin, next to you.  

PUTIN. – I won't pay for that. I know who.  

TRUMP – You know?  

PUTIN. – Keep your friends close...  

TRUMP. -... and your enemies closer.  

PUTIN. – That's what you have to learn. You make too many personal enemies daily.  

TRUMP. – I'm a fighter!  

PUTIN. – Good luck. But if I can't buy a guy, I sell him.  

TRUMP. – Nice. What we do now?  

PUTIN. – Champagne, caviar and porno. Then we play leaders who want to cut missiles and save the world.  

TRUMP. – Deal. Let me ask you something, boss.  

PUTIN. – Money again?  

TRUMP. – No. Do you have any friends? A friend? A partner?  

PUTIN. – I'm happy with what I got – power. You?  

TRUMP. – Oh, yes, chief! You know I'm German, and Americans are too stupid to look deep into Constitution, which makes me a dictator, actually, like Hitler, Stalin. And you...  

PUTIN. – Hm. Most happy people are those with Alzheimer.  

TRUMP. – Why?  

PUTIN. – They have no memory and they can't compare, like I'm poor and Trump is rich.  

TRUMP. – Interesting. I wish Alzheimer was a virus...  

PUTIN. – So you can turn Americans into idiots? Ha-ha! Everybody's happy, pure democracy!  

TRUMP. – Democracy, boss, is the bone you throw to people to choke them to death.  

PUTIN. – Whatever makes you happy, my best asset. Cheers!